Living with others is exciting but can also be challenging..

It’s not easy having to talk with a flatmate about an issue in you’re experience in your flat. Maybe you and your flatmate aren’t seeing eye to eye with cleanliness or noise levels?

It might be that you’re still figuring out each other’s habits and getting used to how one another lives. However, if there’s something concerning you or a flatmate, it might be time to talk about it.

A conversation to help you understand each other better might just solve things. Say for example one flatmate tends to leave their dirty dishes until the evening time but another flatmate is frustrated because they have to cook and clean their own dishes around yours. A quick conversation around leaving the kitchen tidier might be needed. It might just be that the other flatmate hasn’t considered how their habits impact others.

If it comes to approaching an awkward conversation with a flatmate, just remember:

·       Always approach this kind of conversation calmly as it’ll be difficult to find a solution that works for you both if you feel worked up beforehand.

·       Don’t let issues build up over time. It’s best to approach any problems as quickly as possible to avoid it feeling worse and worse over time. Without having a conversation, it’s not really possible for anything to change (you can’t read each other’s minds).

·       Don’t stick the message in the group chat as this can make someone feel isolated or maybe even embarrassed in front of others. It’s always better to just approach a conversation in person. Also, messages can be easily misread but saying it in person will avoid this.

·       Always be sure to listen to what the other person says even if you don’t agree with their point. A conversation is a two-way thing, don’t rule out what they have to say just because you don’t agree with it. It might even help you understand their point of view a little better.

·       Suggest a few ground rules such as making a cleaning rota for everyone to keep it fair. Establishing some boundaries that work for everyone early in the year will help make better habits from the very start.

·       Try to be as clear as possible to get the best results. Rather telling someone “you’re being far too loud”, it would be better to ask if everyone could agree to keeping noise down after 11pm. Maybe they don’t realise how loud their music is?

·       Ask your RA for advice as Residential Advisers have got experience of dealing with flatmates themselves and are trained to support you. You can keep it totally anonymous and not have to say any names, just see what support they can offer.

It’s important to remember that everyone has their own way of doing things. Avoid flat disputes by keeping having open and honest conversations. It might feel awkward and difficult at first but this can just be part of your university journey.

If you are struggling then don’t be afraid to reach out. Talk to your Residential Advisers whose contact details you can find in your kitchen and lounge area or click here for information on support available to you.

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