Not getting along with your flatmates?

Posted 9 months ago

It's ok if you don't get along quite as well as you'd hoped

Moving away from home and into a new flat with a group of people you don't know can be challenging...

If you've moved into accommodation with a group of totally new roommates, it's ok if you're not getting along quite as well as you'd hoped. Of course, we know this can be disappointing but when living with a group of new people it's likely that you'll have different lifestyles, habits and expectations from each other. 

There can be different reasons why you're having difficulties with living with your flatmates. Maybe it's down to your housemates having loud parties, not clearing up after themselves or maybe having guests? Whatever it is, we've got some advice & support for you...

Acknowledging that it hasn't gone to plan 

Try to be as open minded to the idea that you might live with people who just aren't your people. Living in university accommodation with people you don't know is part of the whole experience. Try not to panic if you think it's something that can't work out or be resolved. Instead, try to take things day by day and not think too far ahead as this can be super overwhelming. Give yourself credit for taking the plunge to move move away from home and for giving it a go! Check out our article on Living with people who 'aren't your people' here

Communicate 

We know that communicating is absolutely easier said than done but communicating well with your flatmates doesn't have to be so tricky. Even making an effort with small talk, or asking how their day went or how they're doing can really go a long way. Even if you're not the best of friends with your flatmates, it doesn't mean you can't get along or enjoy your experience of living together.

Want to approach a more awkward conversation such as keeping noise down, having less guests or doing their part in keeping the flat clean? Student Minds has advice on communicating clearly and fairly when addressing conflict - check it out here

Chat to your Residential Adviser

Your Residential Adviser is on hand throughout the year to offer support and advice for any issues you might be experiencing. If you are struggling with your flatmates or with living in your flat, don't be afraid to reach out to your RA to let them know. RAs live in Halls too so the chances are that they will know and understanding where you're coming from when it comes to issues with flatmates. Your RA can chat with you, offer practical advice, support and make suggestions for how things can be improved. You can find your RA's contact details in posters in your kitchen or corridor.

Moving rooms....

Hopefully you won't be in a position where you consider moving rooms but of course where your situation becomes unmanageable, this might be something you consider. If this is something you're thinking about, be sure to know the process...

Firstly you'd chat with your Residential Adviser and see in what ways they can help you. Following this chat with your RA, if a room move is needed then the Hall Warden or Hall Manager would prioritise your request to the Accommodation Team. Please note that the Accommodation Team are unable to process room moves without these steps having taken place first. 

If your request is prioritised to the Accommodation Office, the team will then let you know if and when room options become available. Room moves cannot be guaranteed as they depend entirely on availability however the Accommodation Team will do their best to accommodate you wherever possible. 

If you're looking for a reminder of other support available, please click here!